The words you speak hold power. Power to create new possibilities or to close them down. Power to build relationships or to damage them. Power to lift people up or to pull them down.
Whatever direction your words lead, your mind, body and environment will inevitably follow.
If you use positive language about yourself and your ability to learn new skills, achieve your goals and handle pressure, then that’s what tends to show up externally. Conversely, if you’re continually saying things that affirm incompetence, echo hopelessness, nurture anxiety or fuel pessimism, then that will also shape your reality. Over time your world will morph to mirror your words.
Below are five ways you can change how you speak in order to build your confidence, grow your influence and improve your ability to get more of what you want and change what you don’t.
1. Speak possibilities into life.
Orville and Wilbur Wright didn’t get an aircraft off the ground by focusing on what they couldn’t do, but by continually extending the boundaries of what they could. It’s the same for you. Focus on the things you want and you’ll spot opportunities you might have otherwise missed. Focus on the negative aspects of your situation, what you can’t or don’t want to do, and it will only amplify pessimism, triggering more negative emotions and channeling time and energy that might otherwise have been used more constructively.
- If you want more time, talk about the important things you will schedule into your day, week and year (not about how crazy busy you are).
- If you want more success, talk about your aspirations and what you can do to make them a reality (not about how big your problems are).
- If you want more power and influence, talk about what you’ll do with the influence you already have (not about how no one takes you seriously).
2. Don’t “try” to do something.
If President Kennedy had said, “Let’s try to get a man on the moon,” we’d probably still be trying. There is real power in making a committed declaration about what you want to change, achieve or become. Saying “I’ll try” resonates with hesitation and ambivalence. Saying “I will” declares to yourself and anyone listening that you’re serious about changing the game and what you most want is already a done deal. It’s just waiting to be completed.
Committing with a confident can-do spirit shifts the energy you bring to a challenge and rallies people around you in ways that trying, wishing and “hoping for the best” never will. Try it!
3. Never say never.
Up until Roger Bannister ran a mile in under 4 minutes in 1954, it was collectively believed to be a physical impossibility. So few people bothered to try. But within six weeks of Bannister doing the “impossible,” John Landy broke the record by nearly a second.
Most of us have no idea about what is actually possible. Likewise, when we use absolute terms as descriptors, we fall into what’s known as a “linguistic trap”—confining ourselves to the walls our words create. Hence, words like always, never and impossible can be very self-limiting and should be used cautiously.
4. Never apologize for having an opinion.
Russian philosopher Mikhail Bakhtin coined the term “double voice discourse” to explain the phenomena where people prefaced their statements to minimize the chance of a negative reaction. For instance, “I know I might have this all wrong, but…” or “I apologize if anyone disagrees, but I was thinking, maybe,… ”
It’s little surprise (to this woman at least) that women, who excel at forming relationships but are loathe to disrupt them, are four times more likely to do this than men. But regardless of your gender, devaluing your opinion serves no one and deprives everyone of the value your perspective brings.
Read complete article here
Margie Warrell is a best-selling author and international speaker who is passionate about helping people be more courageous in work, leadership and life. Margie has learned a lot about courage, resilience and risk since growing up on a small farm in rural Australia xc. read more
Latest posts by GeeStaff (see all)
- Mistakes New Entrepreneurs Make When Starting Out - 4th August 2017
- When Life Doesn’t Make Sense; Apply these 5 Tips - 2nd August 2017
- Top Reason Why Most People Never Reach Their Goals In Life - 9th July 2017