Relationship are a vital aspect of humanity and it’s a focal point on which marriage is built upon. It in turn gives rise to child bearing and subsequently, the continuity of mankind.
Many go into a relationship for the many wrong reasons and find themselves suffering from heart aches and break ups. Without the proper guidance and knowledge in the skill of dealing with the opposite sex, your relationship would be long gone even before it gets started. On the part of each partner, there is demand for continuous learning and growth. You can’t rely on your experience when it comes to building a solid relationship because each relationship is a new experience.
Below are the main reasons why relationships fold up and how you can avoid it from happening to yours:
- Expecting too much.
A relationship isn’t a-solve-all-arrangement and it’s most certainly detrimental to think a fellow human being can meet your needs and give you fulfilment. Many expect their partners to be all they’ve read in romantic stories and beauty fantasies neglecting that imperfection is a trait prevalent amongst a vast array of humans populating the earth.
Fulfilment and satisfaction is what you owe yourself and no one can meet that need for you.
You must realise that the person you’re going into a relationship with (or you’re probably currently dating) isn’t perfect. No one can perfectly match your desires and fantasies, and learning to accept this fact will save you from lots of problem and stress.
2. Expecting things to remain constant
Anything that doesn’t change definitely doesn’t grow and your relationship isn’t exempted from this concept. Don’t expect your partner whom you met 12 months ago to be the same person today. People modify their character and personalities to better enhance their survival tendencies.
Be cautious of a relationship that does not encourage or promote change. Expecting your partner to remain whom they were when the relationship first got started is a journey to break-up land!
So what do you do to manage this ?
Adaptation is your sure bet!. Embrace it and cherish it. Be willing and flexible enough to open ground for change and necessary alterations. Avoid being too frigid learn to change along with your relationship.
3. Trying to change your partner.
Nothing kills a relationship more faster than this!
A squirrel and a cat have a better chance of relationship longevity than a person in a quest of changing their partner to somebody they’re not. Don’t conceive this to be the same thing as the point stated earlier in number two. There’s a difference between someone changing voluntarily and a change influenced or initiated out of force by someone else.
A long lasting relationship is made possible as a result of respective partners learning to accept each other just the way they are.
4. Not giving room for self-improvement.
There’s something just as terrible as moving backwards; its remaining static and not moving at all.
To stand a chance of having a worthwhile relationship, each partner must take up the daily task of improving and developing themselves. Read and listen to people who have gained the experience but be careful not to swallow everything you hear, apply only what works for you and filter everything else.
Don’t just waste your time on news and entertainment blogs, patronise and pay regular visits to personal improvement blog such as Geeflix-aimed at providing motivation, success tips and advice. You’d find yourself growing effortlessly.
5. Comparing your relationship with that of others.
As the Apostle Paul rightly said;
“those who compare themselves with others are not wise” ( 2 Corinthians 10:12)
If you’ve got to copy and paste this somewhere in your house so you could see it every morning, please do! It will save you for years to come.
Most people look outside and scout for what others are doing right in their relationships and use the same standards to evaluate their own. This error doesn’t kill immediately and that’s what makes it even more dangerous. It takes its time to eat up whatever exist in your union until every affection you once had for your partner are completely drowned!
For a long lasting relationship, steer clear of comparing your partner with someone else. Everyone is unique in their own way and learning to accept them the way they are breeds true love.
6. setting marriage as the final goal.
Setting marriage as an end reward is a huge mistake. So after marriage then what?
Well I’ll tell you.. For most;
Some of the ladies become fat and careless about their appearance and the men grow outrageous pot bellies and become less romantic. This is a birth of one cast of a boring movie called life.
If you’re unwilling to do the stuff you did that made your partner fell in love with you in the first place, don’t expect to enjoy the full benefits of the relationship. Passion might die and you’d have no one to blame for it ( although most people push the blames to their partners.. so sad!).
Nonetheless, to maintain a healthy relationship after marriage, enrol for a workout program or signup for one of those on YouTube.
Also, go out for dinner and take vacations together (please for heaven’s sake don’t borrow if you don’t have the money to afford one.) .. The aim isn’t hinged on the vacation or dinner, it’s solely all about the time you get to spend with each other .
Constant communication work miracles!